Guide to modern parenting

Parenting styles and tips
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Written By Poonam Singh

I am co-founder of toddlerjunction.com and Principal of Cambridge Montessori Preschool Bangalore.

How to be a modern parent: An insight 

As the generation changes, everything changes along with it. To be able to adapt these changes and attune to the changing and dynamic world. The base of modern parenting is to not imply traditional parenting principles but rather custom create your unique style of parenting.

We all aspire to be the best parents and make our kids independent, responsible, and confident. It is extremely important to balance the priorities, responsibilities, and ensuring that your family and kids’ needs are fulfilled, which are usually contradictory.

The core principles of modern parenting 

There are certain core values and principles that modern parents should abide by to make sure the kid has a good upbringing. Even though there is no certain right way to raise a child, there are certain universal values and principles that should form guiding principles for your parenting. 

For modern parents, parenting is the fuel to live, rather than just a responsibility to make a child responsible. The feeling of fulfillment is immense in modern parents by the way they parent their children. The modern parent realizes that there is no “one size fits all” parenting style but is extremely diverse among different individuals. 

Modern parents want to get the best for their children and want them to be competent to face the real world, not forgetting themselves while raising the child. 

The basic purpose and core areas of modern parents that they deal with-

  • Effective discipline strategy that is unique to the modern kids
  • Creating a balance between life and family time that brings out the best as in individuals and as parents 
  • Contentment and satisfaction regardless of the situation in the family or the family structure
  • Thriving and overcoming crises that are based on modern problems
  • Using technology that is smart and safe for the use of the kids

If you feel that traditional parenting is not letting you have an effective connection with your child or you feel overwhelmed with parental responsibility, it is time to integrate modern parenting techniques into your daily routine that will help you make the best out of your situation.  

Myths over modern parenting 

Now that we understand what is modern parenting and the guiding principles of modern parenting, let’s look into what are the myths and misassumptions about modern parenting. 

Excuse for bad parenting 

Some people jump in the conclusion that modern parenting techniques give a lot of freedom to the kids and don’t teach them self-control. This kind of parenting raises the kids without rules, values, or discipline of any kind. Not staying under any power or restrictions is deemed to be valueless in the eyes of some people. 

Excuse for the laziness of parents

Modern parenting is usually considered to be done by those who don’t want to take effort for the right upbringing of the child and letting them make their own decisions. The use of technology and leniency with the kids is viewed to be laziness by most of the old school parents. 

Disagreeing with how parents raised modern parents 

Usually, when modern parents execute modern parenting techniques, it is believed that they disagree with the way they have been raised by their parents. But what they fail to understand is that as the era changes and a new generation comes up, it is important to change the parenting techniques as it is what shapes the personality of the kid and how he survives in the real world. 

Understanding modern parenting and its significance 

Modern parenting is the evolution of parenting from generation to generation. 

Modern parents believe that every family is unique

It is completely okay and fine that one family has a different set of values and rules with the other family. They understand that this uniqueness makes every family special in its own way. 

Modern parents custom their parenting techniques

Not all techniques work for all kids. There is some parenting style that works for a kid who might not work for others. Accepting this fact and not trying to imitate what works well for other parents makes sense of what works for their family. 

Raising confident and independent children who are responsible and have self-control

Most of the modern parents seek to create strong connections and relationships with their kids. Modern parents take extra effort to involve themselves in assessing the child’s capabilities and interest, to understand their thoughts and emotions, and to help them overcome what bothers them by taking time to talk to them. 

The bottom line is modern parenting is based on the uniques nature of every family that leads to a good raising of the children who grow up to become more confident and independent than those raised traditionally. 

The approach of modern parenting 

The approach of modern parenting is usually more consistent, form, and loving. Modern parents require the involvement of parents to help the child learn through their own experiences rather than imposing over what is right and wrong. The approach requires the kid to distinguish what is right and wrong on its own rather than being told, strengthening their decision-making skills. 

Combine your expectations with the kids with what the kid is capable to do on its own, including doing household chores and taking up responsibility from a very young age. Making them accountable for tasks and rewarding them is a great way to prepare the kid for the real world, where he is more responsible and seeks reward for the work done. 

Acing the basic attitude through modern parenting 

As far as perfecting the schedule is concerned, there is no right way. Attitude towards sleep, food, and discipline are the base of develop of a child’s personality.

modern parenting

Improving the sleep cycle

Babies have varied sleeping patterns amongst themselves. The parents also have different difficulties dealing with their interrupted sleep. 

Some parents don’t believe in sleep training but as far as those who believe understand that helping the baby have a proper sleep cycle is helping the child to master a skill of discipline. 

Some strategies make the child tired to improve the sleeping pattern of the baby. 

But letting the baby cry for being tired is very harsh. 

Some babies aren’t really good sleepers, while some sleep without disturbing the parents. We all know that sleep deprivation does to our functioning, relations, and schedule. It is important to look over it for the baby at a young age.  

For older kids

Good sleep can be ensured if you make sure that the kids turn off the devices, read some stories around bedtime, and build habits that help the children to wind down and sleep peacefully. Establishing a regular bed schedule and relaxing routines will help them a lot as your child grows, improving their academic performances and social behavior. 

Maintaining good sleep hygiene as you grow up can help teenagers disconnect and get the sleep they need. Taking necessary sleep is vital for health and happiness. 

modern parenting

Feeding your child

The basic responsibility of a parent is to feed your child, even if it is breastfeeding. 

Initially for some months as suggested by your pediatrician. As you children grow, the choices and range of food also increase. From the first year, the child starts eating solid foods giving your child an opportunity to explore different tastes and flavors. 

Some children have trouble eating and are quite picky eaters. It is important for the children to understand the social aspect of eating from the beginning, so that when they grow up to have food along with family or loved ones. You want to make sure that the baby is having a variety of foods but less processed foods.

  • One good tip is to avoid cooking a special meal for a picky eater. 
  • Add colors to the kid’s plate 
  • Take them to the groceries and ask them what fruit or vegetable they’d want to try
  • Let them prepare basic snacks
  • Kids love decoration ! and can have anything if topped with cheese or pasta
  • Encourage the child to keep on tasting 
modern parenting

Maintaining discipline 

Small children lack discipline and they have to be made aware. Parenting does involve some portion of correctional work. 

You have to be patient and gentle if you want to start training your toddler to stay disciplined. You will have to keep reminding them of the same thing over and over again until they implement and accept it. It is not an easy task and you need to stay calm if the way your baby acts is getting out of control. 

  • Most of the modern parents use distraction strategy to remove the focus overactivity that can be harmful to them. You can redirect the focus and avoid tantrums. 
  • Avoid punishment and praise more. If you physically or verbally punish your child, they become repulsive and aggressive. You need to make sure that you don’t trigger negative behavior from your child. 
  • Rather, praise them for the good things they do. It will increase their tendency to do that activity more. Instead of scolding, say no or stop them. They may get angry, better try to avoid them for some time. 

Take care of yourself

Being a parent is a job for life and doesn’t stop with your child becoming a teenager. This job transforms your role, responsibility, and overall, your life. We owe to give children the necessary attention, for them to give attention and respect as well. You should constantly remind yourself to give some real attention to your children, involve and monitor over their actions without being authoritative, and helping them to stand up on their own and create their own beliefs and values. 

In the midst of parenting, you should also give yourself attention. It is easier for parents to get lost while raising the child, but you don’t have to make such sacrifices. Your children will count over the moments you have with them but what’s more important is maintaining other important relations and dreams that you hold for yourself. 

How to find balance 

One of the greatest concerns of parents is finding time to manage kids and their daily routines. The best way is to check if your attention over the kid is necessary or not. For that, you need to understand that it is natural for the kid to be imperfect at first, they are learning! As long as they are doing decent enough at school, you shouldn’t interfere a lot.

Don’t pressurize your child to do dynamic and range of activities, focus on what is important and vital for his personality development. Don’t expect your kid to be perfect in everything, but keep him engaged with some activity or the other. 

Striking the right balance of work and leisure is important to make sure there is a proper upbringing of the child. Ultimately, you have to walk your talk. The principles you teach your kids should also be followed by. Remember that the kids look over your action and your reaction to the environment. 

Reference

NYtimes

I am co-founder of toddlerjunction.com and Principal of Cambridge Montessori Preschool and DayCare Kaggadasapura Branch. I am also a Montessori certified teacher and have 5+ years of experience working with kids.

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