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10 Commandments of Parenting

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In the current scenario of the world where goodness and ethics are taking a back seat in our lives, it has become very important for parents to realize the fundamentals of good parenting.

Good parenting infuses empathy, control and discipline in children which are the foundations to leading a life that is beneficial for them and society at large.

It is very important to set the goal while dealing with children. Their actions should be driven by self motivation to be just and fair. Adapting your parenting styles to fit your child’s age and understanding is always a wise move.

As parents or grandparents, you wish the time best for your children. By following general parenting guidelines coupled with the 10 commandments of parenting you can make sure that you are grooming your children right. 

Set Good Examples

Your children observe every single act that you do. They see you as role models. Hence it is very important for you to watch your actions.

Children tend to imitate the actions of their parents or grandparents. A good behaviour shown by you will motivate them to be good and vice versa. 

A child that grows up in a violent atmosphere or sees his parents lying, will do the same when they walk out. Practice behavior and morals that you want your child to be infused with.

Acknowledge his good behavior

A child feels motivated when you appreciate his actions. It is very important to determine which behaviour of your child you are motivating. 

If you do not reward his positive actions, gradually he may lose interest in being good. This is a basic child tendency!

It is important to establish before children that you are paying attention to their actions. A child should feel wanted. And when you reward his ethical behavior by your words, he feels motivated.

Start Early

There is no such rule that states the correct age of teaching your children mannerisms. The earlier you start, the better it is.

A child should be taught discipline, control, and the difference between good and bad right from a very early age.

If you wait too long, it will become difficult for you and the child as well to get back to the track. This is for a simple reason that a child under the developing stage needs direction and if you correct him at this very stage, it becomes easier for him to adapt himself accordingly.

The longer you wait, the more he will get used to behaving the way he feels right.

Make your child Self Reliant

Although you are responsible for your child’s growth and development, make sure you do not end up making your child totally dependent on you.

The world encourages ‘survival of the fittest’ policy. You need to inculcate this culture right from his initial years. 

Make your child capable of performing his duties independently depending upon his age group. 

Gradually this will become his habit and he may expand the scope of activities that he can do by himself. Independent children also have a sense of self-esteem for their successes.

Communication is important

Communication discards confusion between you and your child. It is important to communicate but it is even more important to communicate effectively.

Your child should understand your words in the same sense you want them to and vice versa.Communication is not just verbal! Your actions serve as a source of communication as well. 

Make sure you have a bond strong enough where your child feels free to share his insecurities and fears with you. He should nowhere suppress his emotional needs before his parents.

Respect your child

It is important to maintain a healthy relationship frequency with a child. Making him feel wanted and respected are primary elements of a strong bond with you.

He will value you and your suggestions only when he feels the same from you.

Respect from your end will also help in building his self esteem. Remember it is always a good idea to teach your child with love.

If you disrespect him, he learns the same and over time this will result in weakening your bond with him. 

Use consequences and not punishments

A parent has to be very careful in his approach while dealing with his child. Your child is tender and he will make mistakes and you have to be prepared for that.

Punishing him will only turn him hostile towards you and he may never share anything with you in fear of being punished.

You should rather practice teaching your child the difference between right and wrong by quoting the end results of an action. In this way he will get his lessons for life.

By having a reason for not doing a certain thing, he will never approach such paths. Also this will keep him on the right track without your supervision.

Do not lose your temper

Many adults tend to lose their control and turn aggressive in their words and actions when angry. 

If you are a parent and you lose your temper in front of your child, he will observe that as well.

Next time your child, when angry, may do the same things like throw away a vase or shout with no sense of words and you will definitely not like it.

As a parent, it is very important to practice self-control. And control should be on your words as well as actions. Your patience and maturity in adverse situations will set an example for your child.

Stick to Consistency

Inconsistency puts a child in a dilemma. Make sure you do not make changes to your words and actions to serve your selfish motives.

If you make a rule, it should stay the same for everybody. If you amend rules and regulations, your child will never take them seriously.

Remember a child picks up instances where you broke rules for your convenience very well. Therefore avoid such instances.

Keep Your Words

When you make a promise and do not fulfill it, it sets a very bad example before your child. Be a man of words before your children because it makes them respect you.

Your promises inspire them and when you break them, the inspiration from next time onwards no longer happens.

Also, be very careful in making promises. Do not make promises that are impossible to perform.

Giving your time and attention to nurturing your child is very important. When you bring life on this Earth, it is your responsibility to teach the fundamentals of being a good and ethical human being. 

Happy Parenting!

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Written by Anu Chaudhary

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