How to raise emotionally intelligent kids?

Parenting styles and tips
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Written By Poonam Singh

I am co-founder of and Principal of Cambridge Montessori Preschool Bangalore.

You have an obligation as a parent to support your child’s intellectual growth. This refers to academic intelligence, but other equally important forms of intellect exist.

Many parents worry about how to support their kids in controlling their “huge sentiments.” Parent-challenging behaviors arise when youngsters are unable to regulate their emotions. We witness temper outbursts, breakdowns, and other unpleasant behaviors.

Emotional intelligence is the cornerstone of children’s emotional management. What, though, does emotional intelligence involve?

A person’s capacity to communicate and manage emotions in a way that respects others’ feelings is known as emotional intelligence (EQ). Secondly, to make wise decisions by using this knowledge immediately to direct our behaviors and activities. Children can start developing this set of abilities at any age.

Emotionally Intelligent Kids

Emotional intelligence benefits

Studies conducted over the last few decades have shown that emotional intelligence has several advantages that will be helpful to your child for the rest of her life. Just a few examples of how emotional intelligence can be helpful to are as follows:

High IQ and EQ: On standardized examinations, kids with higher emotional intelligence score better. They also frequently achieve higher GPAs.

Better connections: Children with emotional intelligence abilities can better manage conflict and form closer bonds. Adults with high emotional quotients also report more satisfying interpersonal interactions in their professional and personal lives.

Higher adult achievement is connected to a child’s EQ: A 19-year study indicated that a child’s social and emotional abilities in kindergarten might predict lifelong success. At age 5, kids who could collaborate, share, and follow instructions were more likely to finish college and start full-time employment by age 25.

Enhanced mental health: With higher emotional aptitude, people are less prone to suffer from depression or other mental diseases.

Overall, it makes sense that emotional intelligence has advantages. A youngster who can control anger and maintain composure in stressful situations is more likely to succeed. Additionally, a youngster who can positively articulate their emotions is more likely to sustain healthy connections than a kid who yells or says hurtful things.

Seven ways to raise emotionally intelligent kids

Parenting is a challenging and never-ending task. You can raise intelligent, self-assured kids and be better able to handle life’s challenges with confidence and ease by following these three simple steps.

Now, it’s time to discover some valuable and crucial ways to grow your kids emotionally intelligent. Below we have enclosed the best seven ways to raise emotionally intelligent kids.

Do consider bad feelings a chance to connect

Make the most of your child’s distressing feelings as a chance to interact, heal, and develop. Children struggle to manage their emotions. Keep loving, kind, and caring. Share your empathy and compassion with your child, so they can start comprehending and making sense of their heightened emotional condition.

Say something like, “You sound frustrated! I completely understand,” or “You seem so irate at the moment. Is this a result of Sandy taking your toy? I can certainly understand your fury.

Expand your child’s emotional vocabulary.

Make sure your youngster knows the many words available to them for expression. Children frequently have three in their random words for different emotions. “Happy,” “sad,” or “angry.”

Help them add more age-appropriate words to this, including “frustrated,” “worried,” and “excited.” This first stage creates the foundation for your youngster to grow emotionally intelligent.

Recognize and share your child’s perspective

Understand your child’s distress even if you are powerless to “do anything” about it. Simply being understood enables people to let go of complex feelings.

Remember that everyone holds onto their emotions until they find a safe place to express them, so don’t worry if your child’s upset appears out of context to the circumstances. We are then free to continue.

Empathizing only means you can see things from his perspective, not that you agree. He might have to follow your advice, but he has a right to his opinion. Everyone can attest to how satisfying it is to acknowledge their point of view; it somehow makes losing an argument easier.

Develop empathy in your kid

Even though it may seem complicated, teaching empathy doesn’t have to be difficult. When a beloved one is having trouble, tell your kids in a way that is acceptable for their age. Give examples from actual life to emphasize empathy.

The next time a kid stumbles and screams in the park, utilize the chance to speak to your kids and foster empathy. Establish the goal of developing your child’s empathy.

Teach kids that others have feelings, wants, and needs distinct from their own. When you’re out and about, use your observations to draw attention to these differences.

Encourage your youngster to make educated guesses about how their buddies might feel in a specific circumstance or what their injured sibling might think. Early awareness-building will help your youngster develop intense empathy levels.

Teach how to solve problems

Emotions are not mud to moan in; they are signals. Teach your child to feel their feelings, endure them without acting on them, or, once they aren’t overtaken by extreme emotion, to problem-solve and take appropriate action.

The majority of the time, when children (and adults) feel that their sentiments are recognized and accepted, the sensations become less intense and start to fade. There is no room to address the issue. Kids can sometimes accomplish this on their own.

They occasionally require your brainstorming assistance. However, if they don’t ask you to, resist the impulse to jump in and solve the issue; doing so sends the wrong message to the person and shows that you don’t trust them to manage it on their own.

Impart healthy coping techniques

Once children are aware of their emotions, they must be taught good ways to handle them. It might be challenging for young children to learn how to relax, lighten themselves better, or face their concerns.

For instance, teaching your child to take a few deep breaths to relax their body when they are furious may be helpful. Telling kids to take “bubble breaths,” when they inhale through their nose and exhale through their lips as if blasting through a bubble wand, is a kid-friendly technique to demonstrate this.

Don’t sound critical or impatient

It might be challenging to comprehend the feelings that appear unjustified or irrational when our children act or say blatantly undesirable stuff. However, try to imagine yourself as your child would.

Ask them questions, try to understand them, and let them know you’re on their side, that you’re rooting for them, and that you’ll be there to hold their hand when things get complicated and overwhelming.

Don’t undervalue your child’s capacity for development

They naturally mature into highly functional individuals who can resolve conflicts and react wisely to life’s challenges. However, when they are young, they require a parent who can encourage them to look within and respond appropriately, as well as a listening ear and a hand to hold.

When you make mistakes, quickly accept your mistakes

Realistically, you will occasionally let your guard down—we all do. However, you have a straightforward technique to ensure that your mistakes don’t have long-lasting effects. It’s an apology and helpful when you’re a parent.

Keep in mind that you cannot communicate what you do not represent. Your actions are considerably more influential on your children than your words when it comes to teaching them.


A parent‘s most crucial responsibility in raising a child is to teach them to respect emotion. Your kids are much more likely to experience good mental health, stable, fulfilling relationships, and a fulfilling career if you and your spouse treat each other and the children with emotional understanding and empathy. You may increase your child’s emotional intelligence and prepare them to handle challenging situations using the abovementioned parenting techniques.

I am co-founder of and Principal of Cambridge Montessori Preschool and DayCare Kaggadasapura Branch. I am also a Montessori certified teacher and have 5+ years of experience working with kids.

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